I've been doing a lot of praying, thinking, searching, etc, on the matter of work, income, and such. Here are some of the latest happenings in that area:
I started looking in the fall for child care for my girls so I could try to get a part time job. I had gone back to working for my step dad at the greenhouse from September to November, but next to no customers came (which was highly unusual), and so I didn't get an income from that. He wasn't sure if he would even open this spring because of it. So I started trying to find another source of income. I desperately need to bring in something. Avon isn't turning out like I had hoped either. Especially at Christmas time. I thought surely it would pick up then, but in fact, the opposite happened. Well, I could not find anybody, and I mean anybody to watch my girls so I could work. I asked around. I looked on the DHS website and their child care provider list. I even visited a couple of day cares. Nothing. The biggest problem is their age. Nobody will watch school age children during the day. So, that puts me back to trying to find something to do at home, because it is God's will that I continue to homeschool them. I've prayed and considered that a lot the last few months also. And He is adamant that I homeschool. And I'm not at all opposed to it. So, I have to trust that He will provide. I just don't know what exactly He wants me to do.
So, now looking for other options to do from home. I considered cleaning houses. I can do that! But, again, I have a lack of child care, and most people won't want you bringing your kids to their house while you clean. Right now, I do have a job cleaning a friends house once a week. It's not much, just $40, but that's $40 more than what I had otherwise. And maybe she will make a good reference! But, anyways. One thing led to another, and I found an idea that I can most definitely do! It doesn't cost me anything to start up, I don't have to buy materials to start making things, and I don't need child care. I can take in laundry! Provided I can find people who are interested in that service. I did it once years ago, and I certainly wouldn't mind doing it again. It's not a hard job at all.
While I was considering all of this, my step dad asked me to come back and help him at the greenhouse again. Right now, I'm not making anything because I'm just helping him prepare to open. He will help me out with money for gas and such here and there in return. Hopefully once he opens the customers will pour in and I can actually start to earn some money. Then, my Pastor mentioned a possible position at the Assembly of God district offices where he works. But that's not looking too promising at the moment. I was thinking at first that it could be an answer to prayers, and an open door to something better. But if there isn't any position available, well, than, I guess that isn't where God wants me. I know He will lead me where He wants me to go. So, I had put the idea of doing laundry on hold for a bit to see if that panned out or not. But, I think I'm going to start trying to find customers to do laundry for. I'm going to try and print a few fliers and see if I can post them at the college nearby, and maybe the senior citizen center, and, well I haven't thought of anywhere else yet. I considered Craig's List, but I'm a little leery of what kind of people I might get. So, I haven't decided what to do there just yet. I'm still selling Avon, and business picked up this last campaign. I hope it continues, because though I'm not really earning anything right now, if it continues and grows, than I can earn at least a little bit!
So, let me see. That puts the job count at 3 right now, but still no real money coming in. And if I get laundry customers, that will be 4. I'm hoping and praying to seem some fruit from my labor soon.
I've been thinking of ways to make what little money I do get stretch, make my food stamps stretch, but still feed our family healthy, and meet Trinity's diet needs for her GERD's. I tried couponing, but most of the coupons are for things we don't use, unhealthy junk and processed foods and such, or other non-food items we don't use. But, rather than subscribe to the paper that I can't afford, I will get on the couponing web sites and print any coupons that I will use, if there are any. I've also started a binder where I'm tracking all of the items we buy and their prides at the different stores, and which stores sometimes have sales on those items. If I match those up to any possible coupons, than that can help save money and food stamps.
I would absolutely LOVE to get off of using food stamps. I was thinking about this more seriously again tonight. But I absolutely do not get enough money coming in from anything to be able to do that! I looked in to Angel Food, but discovered that they shut down. I know there is a place near here called the Master's Market, which is run by a church, but that can only be an occasional help, it can't meet all of our needs food wise. It's a type of food pantry, I guess, not an actual market where you purchase food. I do NOT want to go back in to DHS again. I don't want to deal with my current, or any other case worker, again. I'm not going to bad mouth and gossip about the people, as that would not be godly. But I will say that I have had enough of the unpleasantries to last me. I don't like being treated as if I don't even try to do anything but take advantage of the system, because that is so very much not true. I want so badly to not be using the system at all anymore! But I can't seem to figure out how to fix my situation, especially in this economy! I've been realizing lately, that this last year has been worse financially than I've experienced at all before. And I know a lot of it has to do with the economy. And that is definitely something I can't do anything about.
So, this is where I'm at on all that right now. I was mowing the yard tonight, and thinking and praying about things, and asking God what I should do. I felt Him tell me to pray more. Not just pray little prayers, but to make an effort to spend more serious devotional time with Him. A few years ago I remember asking Him what to do about some other things. I kept hearing the same thing, Him telling me to start reading the Bible more, to "get in the Word". When He would tell me that, I didn't just hear it, I felt it in my spirit. I felt that same feeling tonight when He told me to spend more time with Him. He told me, "you got in the Word, you did that. Now start praying." And I had this image in my head and feeling in my spirit of what He meant. So, I"m going to start working on that more. I'm going to take my time I spend with Him more serious. And trust Him that He WILL provide for me like He has promised. He has provided for me, and I know He's going to get me out of this pit, out of this ash heap, just like He promised. I know He says not to worry about what we will eat or wear, because if we seek Him first, He will provide. Now, I just had a thought occur to me, kind of the same thing I heard earlier. Instead of focusing on getting these financial needs met, instead of praying and asking for those things all the time, I just need to focus on my relationship with Him. Our relationship. Not just the part where I ask Him for help 9 billion times a day. What if I was married. Would my husband want that every time he's near me, pretty much the only thing I say to him is "help"? I'm sure that yes, he would want me to come to him for help, rather than someone else. But I'm sure he wouldn't want to hear nothing but "help"! It's so easy to know how to have a relationship with a tangible human and be able to say more than just "help". But to do so with God, is going to take more work. Hmmm, makes me wonder. Was it an excuse on my part? By saying, "well, I do pray everyday! I ask God to guide me, help me, etc." I don't think excuse is the word I'm looking for, but I'm getting tired. But, by saying that, was it deceiving me? Okay, I'm going to stop here. I'm too tired to explain what I mean by that. And, I pretty much conveyed all my thoughts on the current job and money situation.
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