A couple of posts back I mentioned that we were going tv free for 1 week. Well, I procrastinated with getting it started, but I did, and we have been tv free for about 3 weeks now! It was not nearly as difficult to do as I thought it would be, and so far we have benefited greatly from it. Quick confession: there have been some tv moments occasionally. I kept the tv in my room for the reason of it being tornado season here when I decided to this, and it's not wise to be without the ability to stay informed. Just last week we had major flooding, unlike anything we have EVER seen before, and I had the tv on to stay on top of it. The girls watched a little at my moms house, and I've turned it on a handful of times in my room, at night for me (about 2 or 3x, and in the morning for Trinity last week while Faith was at camp about 2 or 3x). But, even still, it has not played a major part in our lives at all. It is a significant improvement from where we were. There are times that I would like to sit and chill with the girls in the evening, especially on the weekends, and watch tv or a movie, but we are refocusing our lives this summer. So, here is the whats, whys, and hows of our summer of refocusing:
I think this all began around April, with the confessions posts. Earlier, in the aspect of realizing some problem areas in our lives, April in figuring out what to do about it. I've gotten beyond tired of my life and home being disorganized, and always feeling anxious, stressed, harried, etc. That's not the traits of a biblical women, the kind of women I want to be. That's not being a good mother. To raise my daughters in the way that God wants me to, to teach them how to be biblical women, to give them a good education, and every other good thing that I'm supposed to do, some things needed to change. Over the last two months, God has been showing me things to do here and there to change our lives. First, in April, I stopped working at the greenhouse temporarily because I spent a week trying to make the wedding cake for my mothers wedding, and I needed the time to be able to do that, along with everything else that I do around here. But, my house got a little more neglected than usual (my girls didn't though). During that time, I was reflecting on things and praying about them, and felt that I should, at least temporarily, stop working outside of my home, so I could focus on the #1 calling that God has placed on my life: my children and my home. How can I be able to serve anyone outside of my home well when the people and needs inside my home are suffering? It's like the verse that says to pick the board out of your own eye before picking the thorn out of someone else's. Or, at least somewhat. I think of that verse anyway. So, I talked with my mom and her new husband/my boss about wanting to concentrate solely on getting my house and life in order this summer, and then seeing where God leads me afterwards. They both understood, agreed, and are fully supportive in this. They are helping me in a lot of ways. Things may be very tight financially, but I believe that my girls (and even myself) are gaining somethings that money could never buy, and are much more important and worth much more!
So, I have been working diligently in getting my house organized, getting rid of and throwing away a lot of stuff (still have more that's gonna go too). I was going to take some stuff to the YWCA but couldn't make it, so a friend who brought me a lawn mower last night offered to take it to the City Rescue Mission, which is awesome, because I want to give a lot of stuff away to other people in need. God has blessed us with so much, always bringing people across our paths who give my family things to meet our needs, we never really have to do without. I owe it to Him to pass these blessings on to others in need. I want to help others who struggle, and this is the only way I can, since I don't have the money, and usually don't have the time (though hopefully that will change someday, and I will have both to give away).
In May, I was looking at my childrens' behavior, attitudes, and what their attention was given to the most. And, I knew that this isn't what God has in mind for them. So, even though I am constantly learning exactly how to be a godly mother, how to teach my children, etc, it is past time to really work hard, and put a major focus on this stuff (no more excuses). So, we are refocusing
Something I read a month or so ago, I don't remember what now, got me thinking and remembering some "grandma's" houses I've seen in the past, all clean and neat, not too cluttered, lace doily's, etc. And it hit me, that I want my house to be that nice and clean (without looking too much older than I am, lolDuggar's House Guidelines that I found a couple years ago, and a page of manners that I hand-copied from a library book. All of these are some of the things that I am working on with my girls. Our house is coming along well (the girls' room is cleaner than it's been in a long time, and has stayed that way for around a week now, for one example), and so is our behavior and attitudes. Trinity has not been hitting her sister really anymore (I think it's been at least a few days, or a couple weeks, lol), and both of them are being kinder. Voices are not being raised nearly as much, and we are all learning to sound softer. The girls are sharing more and fighting less. They are learning to be more respectful and obedient, even if they aren't doing it all as well as I am working towards them doing. I have been calmer and not as exasperated and frustrated in dealing with them, and having more peace. Therefore, my girls and I are growing even closer already. We have been reading from a few books, like Raising Maidens of Virtue, Gigi's Little Princess Devotional Bible, Emily Post's: The Guide to Good Manners for Kids, along with books the girls have checked out for the summer reading program.
A couple of days ago I got the latest issue of the OCHEC magazine (the local homeschool magazine) which had a good article about studying the Bible first in homeschooling. In it, the lady discussed how she struggled in the beginning with her children, and another lady had told her to focus for the first few years on just the Bible. She goes on to describe how she began to do that, and incorporate Bible learning for her kids, and the positive effects she saw over time. I feel like that was another thing that God brought to me, an answer to my prayers on how to teach my children His word. So, I plan on implementing her techniques. I've done one day so far (remember, the magazine arrived this week, lol).
I feel like we have come so far in just these last few weeks, and that encourages me all the more to keep going and striving, and not stop when it gets hard or I get tired. And it does get hard, and it can be difficult to keep practicing these different ways of parenting that God told me to do. Boy, can it! Especially when it seems like it's not working! But, I'm going to keep on, because I know that once we have traveled further on this road, and began to get used to this new way of life for us, it will become a bit easier (I know, not without it's difficult times, I'm sure). Change is always the hardest right at first.
So, even though I'm tempted to bring the tv back for just once in a while, I don't feel we are strong enough yet to resist going back to too much, strong enough to keep a tight hold on our improvements, and that we still have a lot more to make. Maybe, by the end of summer we will bring it back. If we're lucky, maybe sooner!
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